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Don't let cheap thoughts stop you from living.

Participating in the art battle 2022 in Edmonton was such a necessary experience. On the way to the venue, I pulled up to an intersection at the same time another vehicle rolled up to stop perpendicular to me. While I drove through, I thought, if that car would have kept going instead of stopping, we would have connected and I wouldn't have to show up to the event. Intersection after intersection I was mathing out scenarios in my head, convincing myself it would be better to get in an accident than to have to perform.

All of my chances of not making it to the event ended when I arrived safely in the parking lot of the venue. I wanted to puke. I managed to make my way through the event without vomiting, I did awesome during the first round and bombed substantially in the final round. The biggest part of it, was I realized that even though I bombed the competition... I understood that the worst case scenario that could happen... happened and it wasn't worse than not arriving to the event at all. What a cheap thought it is, to think that it would have been better to get in an accident, than getting in front of my fears. So stupid. For all of the times I wanted to back out of something, I am glad I didn't. Life is better when it is lived and not ran from.

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